Damn same crap.

It sounds like G & K are working to get Mom back to Regina. Problem is, I don't think Mom is fully aware. She doesn't know if or when her flight to go visit is booked, and even says it might have to be on hold so "she can pack".

And guess who is in the middle trying to figure out what is fact and what is planning stage. Yet Gord doesn't call me and I don't think Linda is aware.

Is mom getting last year all mixed up with this year and L & J aren't moving to the Island? Or are they secretive until all their plans are in place to say Mom has to go. Small hints but how much is Mom getting mixed up.

All I know is my life isn't my own and I don't fit in anywhere. Maybe once this mess is sorted out I'll have some luck in finding a way to enjoy some aspects of my life.

Perhaps I should have bitten the bullet and gone to Whistler but frankly, I sensed I was merely asked to be polite. They really didn't want me to go. Who would have been stuck in a car with Audrey for 3 hours there and then back. It was a situation in which I was damned if I did or didn't.

I'm hoping but not obsessing that there will be a shot with T when C is away. Surely he will have to phone Shelly (hopefully she will be able to cover) but with email there isn't much chance. Unless he wants to hope to talk to me. I realize now, that he did that before. Damn timing being off.

All I want is some shred of hope. Few friends - 2 live far away and the other doesn't seem to want to talk to me much less get together with me. No man in my life and not likely to get one now. Aging has made me even less attractive and I never was pretty. Work is boring but it is a decent pay cheque for the next 5 plus years. The people I work with are associates, not friends. One person I thought was okay i now a turncoat. She suddenly seems to not only go along with M's antics, but almost is defensive of her. She seems to not want to talk to me anymore. Phoney. As for family, I'm degrees removed from them too.

I wonder what I do that is so freakin' bad that no one wants me around. Except when they need a piece of me. If I am not doing something for someone, they can't be bothered.

I'm going to go see Maxine again as it helped but yet, nothing she predicted happened. No guy came into my life. She was a nice person and I enjoyed her. Maybe when I'm on vacation. If I have any damn time to myself as I'm supposed to get the movers in order from this end. I don't have a fob key and will have to ask Linda for one. She won't like it. SHE has to have total control good, bad or otherwise.

Sigh. It's summer and I should be enjoying myself but nope. Not at all. Same stuff, same routine as winter.

Something has to give.